Description

Cupboard.Salad Fingers is sitting in his armchair, trying to tune his radio which he calls "Roger." If he is lucky, Salad Fingers says he may chance upon a broadcast from "Croxley", which so happens to be a small town in Hertfordshire. "Croxleyheath" also occurs in Shore Leave. After feeding Roger his "sustenance" (which seems to be marbles, peas, rocks or beans), it begins to emit a strange, piercing frequency. A gurgling sound comes from Salad Fingers' own stomach, insinuating upset in reaction to the "unpleasant frequencies" coming from the radio. He decides to wait out the tormenting event in his "safety cupboard." When in the cupboard, Salad Fingers begins to converse with his hands. One hand enacts "Penny Pigtails," the other a market vendor. The "market vendor" refuses to sell raspberry jam to "Penny Pigtails" on the grounds that her legs are "made of cotton" and "far too long" (an event that Salad Fingers finds most upsetting). After Salad Fingers cries for a bit, "Penny Pigtails" discovers a long strand of hair, which Salad Fingers rubs over his eyeball, apparently causing him great pleasure although it makes his eye red and inflamed. After emerging from the cupboard, he tapes the hair to a wall with four other hairs of assorted colours that he has collected. Salad Fingers speaks to the hairs, calling them "beautiple" and "a gay little quintette". Next, he goes to bed with the Hubert Cumberdale puppet. Before going to sleep, Salad Fingers sings "Three in the Bed," and instructs Hubert Cumberdale to "roll over"; as a result, the finger puppet is sent off the bed into a bowl of a filthy, brown substance (likely a chamberpot). Salad Fingers orders Hubert Cumberdale to "scrub that muck off at once!" as he doesn't want any "dirty immigrants" in his house...